Take It or Leave It: Emily Post Formal Invitation Etiquette
If you’re going the route of mailed invitations, whether it be for a wedding or gala, you (like us) have a respect for what some might call traditional etiquette. And no one knows the rules on etiquette quite like Emily Post. She is the GOAT when it comes to what guests might expect or consider the standard. But times are a changin! And we at CWD always believe in adding a little flair or something unique to your event; it’s usually in those details that our clients’ personalities shine and stationery truly becomes custom. So when is it okay to stray from what Emily Post says?
Bottom line: there is no set list of what is or isn’t allowed when it comes to formal invitation stationery. But here are a few guidelines from the Emily Post playbook, and a few examples how Courtney Winet Design has bent the rules a bit…
INVITATION WORDING
Emily Post Says…
THIS is how you write out a formal (wedding) invitation wording.
You Could Do This…
When an event is being hosted by the couple rather than the bride and/or groom’s parents, feel free to relax a bit on how the invitation is worded. If the family agrees the day should focus on the couple rather than the parents, that’s reason enough too.
Or This…
Don’t let how the bride and groom names are written stress you out. Want your names to fit on the invitation? Play around with how middle and last names are listed for each, and go with your favorite!
You Could Do This…
Ditch the formal wording, and have fun with what it says! We encourage our clients to use unique or fun wording on their RSVP card. It’s a great place to mix things up especially for those who prefer to keep the invitation card more traditional. One of our favorites is rather than marking simply “Yes”, ask guests if they will have “Dancing shoes ready, we’ll be there!” Choose what you like and remember the best invites are the ones that are a true reflection of you as a couple, whatever that may mean!
Or This…
Don’t want to be so formal with your RSVPs, but still want to keep a reply card in the invitation suite? An RSVP Postcard may be just the thing for you! Take the formality down a notch, no worries about it getting a bit messy in the mail because your guests saw the pristine version, and can even save you some money on return postage by using postcard stamps.
ADDRESSING YOUR INVITATIONS
Emily Post Says…
THIS is where Emily says technically you should hand address all invitations (even when inviting hundreds of guests).
You Could Do This…
Hire a calligrapher! You can still have a say in the type of calligraphy that’s used (aka it doesn’t have to be just script). The money spent on having them addressed by hand by a professional is well worth the money, not to mention your time saved!
Or this…
All invitation suites from Courtney Winet Design include digital address printing because we care A LOT about a beautiful first impression (which the outer envelope is BTW) but also appreciate the time and cost savings of not having to do this by hand.
WEDDING ATTIRE
Emily Post says…
THIS one Emily Post says the consideration of guests is what’s important, and ultimately making it easy for them to determine whatever the dress code may be.
You Could Do This…
If your event is Black Tie or Formal Attire is required, it is helpful to list that on the invitation. It can also be mentioned again on the details card or event website; that would be the proper place to give a clear description or examples of the dress code requirements.
Or this…
Want to go with an unconventional dress code? We’ve seen it all, no problem there! If it is not black tie, we recommend leaving it off the invitation but definitely include it on the details card or wedding website. The most helpful thing you can do is to spell out any particular dress code details for guests (feel free to refer to our WEDDING DRESS CODE BLOG for help).
One final reminder: guests will take their cue for your event from the level of formality of the invitation. So whichever impression you want to give, Courtney Winet Design is ready to help guide and work with you to create the invitation suite of your dreams!